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Writer's pictureDarshika Singh

How to Spot and Avoid the Benching Dating Trend

Hello and welcome to my blog! Today, I want to write about something that might feel pretty familiar to a lot of us: benching. Now, this isn't about taking a rest on a bench in the park. It's actually a term used in dating when someone keeps you on the sidelines instead of fully committing to a relationship with you. So, let's break down this modern dating trend and see what it's all about. Grab a comfy spot and let's dive in!


Okay, so let's unpack what benching really means. Imagine this: You're talking to someone, maybe you like them, maybe you're not sure yet. They don't seem super interested in committing to you, but they also don't want to let you go completely. It's like they're keeping you in the sidelines, just in case they want to hang out or chat. They might send you a text every now and then, saying something casual like "hey stranger," but they never really make plans to see you in person. They might give your social media posts a like or comments, but they're not really making an effort to get to know you better. It feels like you're just one of many options for them, and that can hurt. Have you ever been in a situation like this? You're definitely not the only one.


Have you ever been in a situation where someone keeps you around but doesn't fully commit to you? It's not a great feeling, trust me. This is what we call benching. It's like being put on hold, kind of like a backup plan. The person might send you occasional texts, flirt with you on social media, or hang out with you every now and then. But they never really make solid plans or show genuine interest in having a real relationship with you. It's like they're keeping their options open, waiting to see if there's someone better out there before they decide to be serious with you. Ouch, that can hurt, right?


Benching isn't just a thing people do in dating; it's something that can really sting. It's like being someone's second choice, never their first. And let me tell you, it hurts a lot. That's why I'm here to help you understand what benching is, how to recognize it, why people might do it, and most importantly, how to handle it when it happens to you.


Okay, let's break down what benching means. It's when someone keeps you on the sidelines, kinda like a backup plan, without fully committing to you. They never really move things forward into a real relationship. It's like they're keeping you around until they either can't find anyone else or until they get tired of you.


Based on a survey, a huge 63% of folks have been through benching, and surprisingly, 45% have been guilty of doing it to someone else. It's a big issue in the dating scene, and it can make you feel all sorts of emotions like confusion, annoyance, and sadness. But why do people even do this in the first place?


You might be wondering, "Why would anyone do that?" Well, there are a few reasons, but none of them make it okay to hurt someone's feelings. Some people bench others because they're scared of being alone. They keep their options open just in case, so they don't feel lonely or rejected. Then there are those who always think the grass is greener on the other side. They're constantly looking for someone better and never want to settle for what they already have. And don't forget about the folks who use dating apps like a game, swiping and matching without really committing to anyone. The pandemic and other life changes can also play a role. Some people might avoid commitment because they're stressed out or just want some excitement and variety in their lives.


Sometimes, life throws curveballs, like stress or struggles with mental health, which can make someone more likely to bench others. And sadly, some people just don't have much empathy, so they might not realize how hurtful benching can be. But no matter the reason, benching isn't fair to anyone involved and can really hurt people's feelings.


Alright, let's talk about how you can steer clear of being benched or handle it if it happens to you. Here are some tips to help you out:


Set boundaries: Understand what you're looking for in a relationship and don't compromise on it. If someone isn't treating you right or isn't giving you what you need, it's totally fine to leave that situation behind.


Communicate clearly: Always be open about how you feel and what you want, and don't try to manipulate or deceive others. If someone seems unsure or sends mixed signals, it's okay to have a straightforward conversation with them and find out where they really stand.


Trust your gut: Trust your gut feelings. If something seems off or doesn't feel right, it's likely not good for you. Pay attention to warning signs and don't overlook them.


Prioritize yourself: Make sure you're putting yourself first and taking care of your own happiness and health. Don't waste your time waiting for someone who doesn't appreciate you or see your worth.


Move on: If you realize you're being benched, don't wait around. It's important to break ties with that person and not allow them back into your life if they try to return later. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who truly values and respects you for who you are.


Benching isn't fair to anyone involved. It can make you feel all sorts of bad, like confused, annoyed, and lonely. But there are things you can do to protect yourself. Set clear boundaries, talk openly about how you feel, and make sure you're looking out for your own happiness. By doing these things, you can steer clear of getting caught up in this hurtful dating pattern. Always remember, you deserve to be treated with love and respect, so don't accept anything less.


Thank you for joining me for today's blog post. Until we meet again, look after yourself and always be true to who you are.

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3 Comments


Robin Saitan
Jun 05

Hail the morning star ✨

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Ananya Sharma
May 14

Wow..such a wonderful post on benching and how to avoid this situation...brilliant information.

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Darshika Singh
Darshika Singh
May 15
Replying to

Thank you so much 😊

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